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fantasy_notes
05 April 2010 @ 12:18 pm
It has been a long couple of months since I last posted on my livejournal. Almost forgot that it even existed! So what has been happening in my world since then- well lets see:
  • Finished VCE
  • At Uni doing Nutrition & Dietetics
  • Had my first drink - not alot though!!
  • Got Facebook
The new years come and gone past, Easter is almost over. Holidays here for a week surrounded by the sticky notes reminding me of how much work I have to do and how little time I have to complete it. However some things have not changed.
I'm still thinking about the difficult issues of life, trying to find out really who I am and where I belong. The issue of love and devotion, and which comes first - Study or FUN! Most recently its turned towards Friendships. Who are your real friends?

 

Ploughing through the photos on facebook, of those priceless memories that people have created being in the prescence of one another it often gets me wondering how come I am not apart of these things? Reflecting on the 3 months of holidays, how many events were I invited to and how many did I go to. Some were failed attempts to organise, whereas others were amazing days spent watching our favourite t.v. shows and the actors that we would die to be in arms with. However, if I compare it to someone else, they may have spent their time celebrating all the time.
So then who can we really call our friends, and more importantly when can we call them our friends? We share wonderful memories with people and we believe that we've struck a connection that is strong and that maybe lasts a lifetime. Then, when you see pictures of them celebrating, it makes you question was I good enough for them to invite or did they not know how to connect?
You often think of them in the postive light- maybe they could only invite a small group of people, they couldnt contact me, they lost my email or something like that. However, deep inside you always question yourself - what did i do wrong? What did I do to make them think I wasnt a friend? Is it something ive done? Are those people we meet at school ever going to be seen again in a social gathering?

Maybe its to do with something else like you starting off, and then they reciprocate the occassion? But why would you have to be first? Is there some sort of rule that decides this.. or is this more the "they will do it first, i will leave it to them" or are their people that maybe you were destined never to see again. Is it fate, destiny or the way life has to be run?

Who knows, but for know I will continue to sit and procastionate about how much i need to do and watch time fly by.

♥ KK
5th April 2010


 
 
Current Location: hommee
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: NONE!!
 
 
fantasy_notes
23 November 2009 @ 10:20 am
There are two types of people: introverts and extroverts. Those whom express themselves openly, and others that dont. It is these qualities which have an impact upon our ability to make friends, and sometimes to lose friends, simply within an instant. As a friend, you usually share your most darkest, inner secrets to receive hope and comfort for those terrible times, and to be shown that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a silver lining as such. A close and loving friend, told me some stories, about the one i cherish somethings which i didn't even know to exist. It was this moment, which made me question is there a line in the sand which distinguishes what one individual will share? Is there things that people will tell others, and maybe not you. Does that say something about who you are, or the status of your relationship? Does it say that you are a terrible friend, who is not trustworthy simply because you worry for what this may become?
It was this that makes me question the extent of my friendships and relationships with others, how much do i really know about the ones i love? I'm sure that its very little, because after all to not know this about someone i love to death says alot about my ability as a friend. It could suggest, well it didn't turn up. However, this just brings up the most vital question of all, do we tell everyone about these such terrible events, or do we simply just tell it when it pops up during a conversation? Or does it all relate to the idea of whom you trust with these delicate feelings, or whom you think deserves/needs to know it. Does age play an impact on how much you know?
Is not knowing a sign of care and respect for the individual that does not know, simply because knowing would hurt their feelings, crushing them into a ball and rolling down a hill to oblivion. Is it the fact, that if we know the person only for a short period of time, or that we only see them once in a while will influence our true knowledge about an individual.

Why should i be toiling with this idea? Well, there is no reason to be. The individual in question, probably has some sort of reasons for me not knowing. He probably thought through these before considering to tell my friend, and possibly wanted to tell me. The tingling feeling that remains within you, making you feel like you've forgotten something in the morning. The butterflies that circle your stomach, making you nervous to tell , because of the fear that has become of yourself, since knowing.
Whatever the scenario, that made this person not tell me, is somewhat comforting. Comforting for the fact that he possibly cares, but fearful for their life within the future. After all, each human being is capable of making decisions, and the decisions that one person chooses to make, is different to another individuals choices. Whatever the outcome, our decisions are made in times of CONFLICT .

Often or not, people chose the right outcome in times of a conflict. However, sometimes we can make the wrong decision.
It is somewhat good to know a little more about this person, more than others may. However, once i know now there is that feeling, of what am i meant to do with it. Am i to keep it as a "in my head knowledge" or tell people about it.
I'm sure in the times of conflict i face, the same as the individual who has the secret and whom the story orginated from, we all make the right decision. That right decision allows us to make the individual see the light at the end of the tunnel, the silver lining within life.

KK ♥
23 November, 2009
 
 
Current Location: home
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Facebook :)
 
 
fantasy_notes
21 October 2009 @ 10:42 pm

It seems like it was just yesterday that we were getting out of the car for our first day of secondary schooling education. But, infact its the end. No more early wake up calls or late nights studying away for SACS. No restrictions on the GLEN and when you can go there, no more subject selections or pressures. NOTHING! Its all now freedom.

This week has been the most interesting, tiring week ever. Mind you.. no work was completed during those three days.
- Muck up day as the monopoly dude. I wish i was a DR house or wannabe squint booth ♥
- Grad night where we partied hard and camerawhored our way into the night. It would not be complete without singing the 09 version of sexy bitch :) It was more special cause they mentioned my

18th B'DAY TODAY :)

-Breakfast. Although i didn't eat anything, it was fun. Sophia learn't how to play 40 40 and we did the most random things ever just as primary school kids do. I guess things/people never will change.

So what did my b'day start out as? Well it was: 
- wake up call at 6:30 followed by a b'day song singalong which i was half dead for so i mumbled a few words i think
- present giving when i was still half dead
- heading to jells at 8:00 with my sis carrying a tray of cupcakes (*no clue where the cakes or tray ventured off to*)
- playing 40 40.. a little camerawhoring..
- more b;day wishes
- FUN
- home to do exam prep
- watched some recorded t.v
- more work
- became hooked on teardrops on my guitar- Taylor Swift
- peace_and_war 's visit with my present of death du jour by Kathy Reichs based on our favourite Tempe Brennan
- dinner at home
- attempted study but of course got distracted by the pictures in folders.. NOT FACEBOOK JUST YET :)

So that was my b'day.I guess you cannot celebrate right now.. but most say that it feels more appropiate at the end. You can party hard and let your hair down, not worrying about anything that may occur, unless your an interviewed for a course.

So lets post teardrops as a recognition for my b;day. Its the new b;day song :)

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see
That I want and I'm needing everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful, that girl he talks about
And she's got everything that I have to live without
Drew talks to me, I laugh 'cause It's just so damn funny
That I can't even see anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love, he's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows he's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

Drew walks by me, can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She'd better hold him tight, give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes and know she's lucky cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing, don't know why I do

So I drive home alone, as I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down and maybe
Get some sleep tonight

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The Only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing don't know why I do
He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into...

Drew looks at me, I fake a smile so he won't see.

♥KK
21st October, 2009
 
 
Current Mood: tiredreflective
 
 
fantasy_notes
14 October 2009 @ 02:16 pm

For all the Aussie's out there on LJ that may not know..

BONES IS BEING PREMIERED (SEASON 5) this sunday night (18th October )at 8:30 i.e. usual airing time 

I couldn't find a post on it.. and i apologise in advanced for anyone who has already posted it. Shame that exams around the corner. Recording it.. and then will watch after. So i guess continued on the cliff hanger of season 4.

So enjoy for those who do watch :)

p.s. i am really excited for it.. just that exams are my priority atm. IN three weeks its just relaxing and t.v. :)
 
 
Current Mood: ecstaticecstatic
Current Music: Sexy bitch- Akon ft David Guetta
 
 
fantasy_notes
28 September 2009 @ 10:14 pm

Holiday post. Been almost a week in. 8 days to be more precise. Have been travelling up and down for just about a week now to go to revision sessions, simply because the school ones are so inadequate. Its been a pain to wake up in the morning, like any other school  day which is really sad considering you don't wake in the holidays as if it were school that day. Besides the revision, have not done anything really worth while to my education future thingy.
Life travels on  its usual ways, often causing mishapps along the way, such as non functioning calculators, not understanding a concept, falling in love with someone that you cannot have etc. So what happens to all the things that surround it, the action that happens behind the back curtain? When were so focused on our future, or simply lack in social movement, we often seem to not notice things, or take it for granted. E.g. it was only last week that I learnt, there were 16 year 12 couples at our school. 16!!!!
Yes, maybe we would have seen the occassional couple around, we often miss the subtle ones, as those around me began to name these people. This whole conversation, made me question how much do I really know about our class of 09, but more importantly about myself. How sure am I about the way I function, how my emotions impact my ability to attack life, how I overcome conflicts (exams), how to combat anxiety etc.? Do i know the real me? Are the things that I feel within, suddenly impacting me so greatly that well it feels all too overwhelming?


 It may be strange to say,but I long for school. But its true. At school I don't feel any confusion, a sense of loss and isolation from others. I feel comfortable, able to share my emotions and be who I am. I know who I am!
Sometimes its a sense of overwhelming emotions of care, love, fear, kindness that all impede our judgements about many things and hence resolve or further worsen our inner conflicts. I would know. Maybe its just me that seems to be so lost at the moment, in amongst school, holidays, exams, reflections, kicking myself for not doing many things that I should have done ugh love. We are perceived as one thing, but yet deep inside we are different. Like those who can be one person when they really want to or another person with darkness lurking and surfacing. Two-faced people confuse me, simply because they are two-faced. In the sense that you lead yourself to believe them and things they say, share your dark secrets in assurance that they are not spread. BAMN! Its how rumours start. Those good for nothing rumours. These rumours are hurting me more than ever, simply because im begining to see what the others see. Like im in their shoes and I am watching myself and the actions that I take.

This has been the most random post ever- school, love, studying, two-faced people, who were are? Ah i guess I am so confused. Confusion isn't the best. I should simply dig a hole and cry unti someone like my shining prince comes to rescue me from the silent turmoil that exists within me. Whenever that is, i'll be waiting for that day. Or simply till exams end. Which ever comes first. :D For now I shall resort to the happiness i feel when watching the Mentalist  (season premiare), or looking at simon baker! HOT :S

KK ♥
28 September 2009

 
 
Current Location: hole
Current Mood: lonelylonely
Current Music: my sobs
 
 
 
fantasy_notes
Hey there,
Holidays now! :) Glad, i guess cause its a good time to work, but it just hoans in the fact that Year 12 and VCE is almost over. With the first week gone to the revision program, my holidays are not going to be fun at all. Welcome to the wonderful world of VCE and cramming study.

Anyway, started recently ready Kathy Reichs' books about Tempe Brennan (BONES!). Thanks to peace-and-war i was introduced to the first book in the series. Only a couple of chapters in, I'm somewhat likeing it, however its not the same as the t.v. show. (Or maybe just cause Booth aint there)

So, i'm reading the first book deja dead. Wandering, what others who read her books think of this book. Spoilers would not be advised, although i will ignore them if posted.

- death du jour
- deadly decisions
- fatal voyage
- bare bones
- monday mourning
- cross bones
- break no bones
- 206 bones

So, any comments on these books from readers would be great. Favourite book/s?  Did you read it in order?Do you need to read it in order?
Any other comments?

another random post i guess. Not many till later after exams, with many dreams and aspirations to be completed such as headers, fanficts etc.
Till then,
Happy holidays for those downunder and for those who are not on holidays, enjoy school. The holidays will come round soon :P

KK ♥
18th September, 2009
 
 
Current Location: homee
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: CSI Miami
 
 
fantasy_notes
03 September 2009 @ 10:27 pm

Rumors.. they always seem to "pop up" even when you least expect it.Sometimes they seem to be a joke like if you are really skinny they ask if ure anorexic even if they know you eat like alot. These are just passing so they are okay so what if there not? You always think that it won't happen to you, because you attempt to keep your life secret and bottled up within, or that you tell only your closest friends because they are BEST FRIENDS or you trust them with your heart.

So what happens when you do hear a rumour about yourself. Are you meant to take  it as a joke, or simply affect you to the point that you think about it everyday. Well its happened to me, and lets just say rumours are not something that you want to live with. It's one thing to think you sorted the rumour ages ago, but its another for it to sprout back up again as if its brand new. As if the people who spread it now, where not aware of its existance all these months ago. Really this post  is just a rant to get my feelings out because honestly its not the kinda rumour you want to have pinned against you but the person just makes it more creepier. Then to have a dream about them makes the icing on a cake to a rumour, and sometimes I wish it doesn't have to be this way. Maybe the fact that school is ending, could be a good thing to me in many ways. Yeah we all do have our secrets, so does that mean a rumour is something that could be true and just hidden from the external world for knowing.

I guess i'm not sure what to think of the rumour. Its a mixture of total sickness and total wrongness because alot of people have disgust for this individual. Im sure that people out there would like this person, because he is good at what he does but in reality i think he is not. So to be associated with the person in a rumour just makes like so much harder to live.Should a rumour take your life over. I'm not sure and to be honest, im not really sure if many people know about it. I've asked three already and they all seem to know. Could it be them confusing it over basketball guy? Doubt it, considering all of them know about him to, so it seems like the rumour seems to be surfacing. Or could it be the fact, they are just seeing events which in life that we consider to be  harmless but are in fact harmful to our lives. Who knows? Yeah there was one event with this person, but i would never do anything like that.

I guess there is one way to solve this. I guess either make a new rumour, or let the world know that the other rumour is true just to make them pleased. Only problem is that well then they will use it to make fun of you for the rest of your life. Life will be misserable and contemplative for now, as i try to determine how I should avoid or forget this rumour.


Tags:
 
 
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Evacuate the dance floor- Cascada
 
 
fantasy_notes
18 August 2009 @ 11:09 pm
Who is/was your favorite teacher in school?
Favourite teachers.. I love all my teachers. I would say that my favourite teachers would be

 - Ms Rice (Yr 8) She was a really nice and a wonderful teacher. She always was willing to help and explain a concept regardless of how long it took. She made maths seem like it was so much fun and took effort to make it this way. I guess it was her that is the reason why I do so much maths now. I was so sad when she left.

- Ms Vuong (Yr 11) You were there at all times of the day regardless of how busy you were. At times it needed a little coaxing especially after school to help me with all the questions that i had. You made methods seem like it was easy, and explained the topics in an easy to understand manner for me. The jokes were funny, though slightly racist  :) If I didn't get it, you would explain it to me with wonderful analogies or tried to explain it in a different perspective numerous times till I got it right. Sometimes the analogies were not so perfect but they enabled me to understand things that I learn today.
Whenever I was down, you were willing to help and find  a solution  regardless of  the constant tears that ran down the side of my face, and the fact that you couldn't stop pulling fun at me. You are a great person to talk to and be friends with, a buddy to  have a good laugh with but also an excellent listner. Without you, i think i would be struggling in methods this year.Thanks for taking up lots of space in my book  and your email that I am still yet to use as well as the shoulder to lean on in tough times. Something i will treasure for the rest of my life.. and the thought that maybe the magnet will return some day. Sorry for loosing it. Use MSN :)
 
NUMBER 1 :)

- Mr. Poynter(8-10) You were able to make learning music fun. Although jokes were slightly lame you were always there as someone to laugh with. Funny, bubbly, caring, and a great person to talk to about anything.  Thanks for making it feel safe in sharing thoughts, that seemed to be only safe with you and noone else. You are an excellent teacher who made the concept seem easy to pick up and understand. You gave me the faith and belief that I can play something when I doubted yourself and my abilities. You  gave up your lunches to help when needed, sometimes if not needed, and it always reaped many benefits for me.One on one lessons were a blast, letting me to know a side of you that I never really knew. They helped my playing and learning so much (e.g. the breathing exercise on the floor etc) . Wish id practiced more, and this class would have been more fun that what it was. I'm sorry for leaving, I hope you still can remember me and that you don't compare my sister to me. She's the better player than me :) and i know you can see it.


and..

Mr. Pham - Although I don't have you as a teacher, id say you are a  wonderful guy. Quieter than what it may seems, you are someone who is an intelligent, bright (when not sleepy), bubbly,sporty, a highly athletic individual and someone who dresses so smartly. A great person to talk to about anything really while feeling comfortable about being who you are.*When you get to, with such a large popularity*  I'd say you were dedicated, smart, and a wonderful teacher who takes the time to go through the examples, ensuring the students understand. You are funny, even if not intentional and this makes my school life so much more interesting. Amazingly good looking you are :0 ie HOT. I'd wish you were a little stricter.. so more people would love your teaching :) and admit to the mistakes that you make. After all mistakes are human. With a little more experience from those we all admire, your teaching perfections may be achieved. After all , in a couple of years if you are still here, may you could share them with me. As a teacher to his student under his wing.

Yeah.. so these are some of my favourite teachers. I do miss all of them in the classroom, but I see some of them around now from time to time. Being in the last year, I'm going to miss them. Hopefully I can still keep in contact with them after school is over. :) or simply come back as a secondary teacher. Haven't decided really.

KK ♥
19th August 2009

 
 
Current Location: school
Current Mood: giddygiddy
 
 
fantasy_notes
18 August 2009 @ 10:30 pm


[info]tanjabrennan87 posted this on her journal and I really liked the idea, so here we go:

  1. Leave me a comment saying: "Interview me!".
  2. I will respond by asking you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
  3. You will post the answers to the questions (and the questions themselves) on your blog or journal.
  4. You will include this explanantion and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
  5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions. And thus the endless cycle of the meme goes on and on and on...


1.) House or Bones? Why?

 
Well its a longish story. Basically before I was really into Bones, I was into House more. I loved the ducklings (house's old team) especially Cameron and Chase. When season 4 came around and house decided to have a new team it made me disinterested in it . I mean the new team is so much like the old people, to me it felt like there was nothing new. Also being a weekday,and in Year 11 with lots of work I really  had no time. I began to sit and watch Bones during the holidays in Summer when it was on and I fell in love with it straight away. Then it was on in the weekdays. Regardless of homework i just sat and watched because I was so addicted. On the weekends regardless of how much work now, i watch it too. Wind down of the weekend and into the school week. I guess i was more into it than House because I love the characters and interpersonal relationships, but also that the storyline and events are not so predictable as House is.LIke the bones they find, where it is, how old they are, who is the intern (recently).  Oh and they are funny :) I love the chemistry between Booth and Brennan. I love that all the characters are close to one another, and the fact that noone is so mean or non loyal to another. House sometimes seems a bit rude with his jokes, that could be considered offensive and they aren't really that close. The characters in Bones are hotter.  I have more loves in Bones than House, so therefore  I love Bones more. Finally I love Bones's intelligence. I always watch to see if I can learn something new.. even though sometimes her comments are based on Booth's proverbial statements.

2.) What do you like most about Australia?

I think I love Australia because its my home, where I live. Its not really my roots, but its where my life began. I love the weather, when it is not too cold (freeze) or too hot like in bushfire season. Also i love the people, and the fact that they are nice and helpful. Well most of the time anyway. I also adore the laid back nature that people have, and that we do have rules like working 8 hours a day. Some people in other countries work longer hours which just seems dreadful.

3.) If you could take over an existing part in a tv show, who would it be and why?

I think I would take over Cam in Bones. At times she seems a little rude to poor Hodgins and his desire to conduct  experiments, and sometimes she talks a little like she takes advantage of the power she has. I think power is necessary, but not too much. Sometimes her jokes are not even funny, they could be offensive.I think she doesn't let VNM share his knowledge at times. As a replacement Cam i would allow the experiments of Hodgins and take part in them, I would be nicer to all the people at the lab and allow them to voice their opinions of what we should do next. Hopefully they would like the new Cam. Oh and the new Cam does not tell jokes unless necessary. Finally as a new Cam I would posses style, flair, sophistication and allow VNM to share his wonderful insights. Who knows, I may be able to learn something new.

4.) Did any celebrity influence your life in any way?

No celebrity influenced my life, but i gues some celebrities posses qualities that I admire. Firstly Emily Deschanel for being someone who sticks to what she believes regardless of others opinions. She is not a conformist as such, always sticking to what she thinks is right. I adore her for being a vegan, despite myself not wanting to ( dislike being vege. on friday) myself and keeping strong to it. She doesn't force her opinions onto others that interview her, she simply shares her beliefs and you can choose if you want to agree or disagree. 
Im sure that many other celebrities possess such wonderful qualities that we all wish we could have ourselves. I guess I look to Emily for those qualities, some of which I will be able to have and aquire. She is beautiful, so i guess her beauty is something that will influence the way I look. 

5.) What was your biggest wish as a child?

I think my biggest wish as a child was simply to live each day as it comes really. I wasn't a person who named careers that I could do in the future, when school was almost in its home straight. Too be honest I'm not really sure what I want to do either. Probably others were to be loved, make friends and be happy. Well be happy most of the time.


KK ♥
18th August 2009
 
 
Current Location: my soft bed
Current Mood: boredbored
 
 
fantasy_notes

With results almost out a week, I guess it is only now that the feelings have sunk in and I have maped out the rest of what is left for year 12.
However, it seems to me with what I have, that my dreams seem to be slipping out of my  hands, as if they are unobtainable. Living close to where i intend to study on, it further just restates that it seems like my goals, and dreams are not something that I will be able to get. Despite the importance of staying positive, it seems that these goals, dreams, aspirations are simply those. Dreams,that we have. Girls dreaming that they are princess riding on horses, or men falling in love with their  girl etc. These dreams, are  somewhat obtainable *except for the princesses*  but it seems too far fetched. I know that most will reach their potential and make their dreams a reality, and it seems  more each day that I won't be able to make the VCE pool that Penso tends to exaggerate too much!

It was only on the weekend, when someone told me something that really has changed my outlook to the course. Not that it may have good money or wonderful success, but of the need and recognition that people would have for these individuals. Not only that, but that it could seal my future indefinately. An indefinite future sounds good, but with my beliefs that I am unable to reach my dreams, will this unsung chance just fade into the distance as if were not even there.

So it was this weekend, that lit my dreams once more. The strong desire, and the kind words of an individual ive known for so long has pushed me to keep working. To work and achieve the dream that has been there for much of my deciding carreer life. Im not sure, if this is the push that will get me over the edge. However, for now..  I know that the once negative self is gone and a positive person is emerging. Although it is the time, where most seem to be giving up. I am not going to give up. With what seems like a bright, set future ahead, there is nothing that will stop me. Not even basketball guy. :) ♥

Challenges make up our lives,and we all face it. It is inevitable to most. Failures make up most of us, and we often keep them close. It seems this way, but I need to let go of these failures, whether it be the exam marks or all the SAC marks. It is time, to forget and move on as we strive to our best.

Whatever is your best, or what you need it is important for us to do the same. We are still learning in life.. and we will never stop.Although to most  including me.. we are destined for doom.. think of the wonderful future's we will be in. Reflecting upon the madness and horror nightmares we faced in Year 12.

After all as insperia puts it : " it's a lot of work and pressure and stuff, but working hard is definitely worth it because it really does go so fast"

And  it is sooo true. With something like 48 days left.. it makes me realise I'm going to miss school. Not just because of  basketball guy :) ♥ but also the friends that I may never see again, as well as the wonderful teachers that have mentored us through these difficult years of our life. After all, if my career options are put in the order they are, I may be able to see them again as two professional teachers.


Credit; SOPHIA FU :)

♥
10/08/09




P.S. LAW and order UK *squeals* This Wednesday. Must juggle Chem SAC cram & this. :)
 
 
Current Location: Australia
Current Mood: blahblah
Current Music: T.V. running in the background